I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
