I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
