I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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