I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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