stop calling my apartment porn island.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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