I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
