I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
