Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
