that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
