Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
