seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Come share oat with me in your robe
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
