Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
