i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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