i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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