So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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