Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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