We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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