My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
then he tried to convert me to islam
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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