Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize