It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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