What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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