once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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