Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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