We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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