She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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