remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
