Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
