his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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