I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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