I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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