I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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