i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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