So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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