Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
