This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
