I look better un-naked...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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