what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
