They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
