it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
