you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
