i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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