Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
