Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
