I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
