so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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