i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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