whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
porn star boner night. come get it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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