Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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