I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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