I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
