she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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