uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
