This girl is more easily done than said...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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