careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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