I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
