I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
