I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
