my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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