I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
