I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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