Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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