You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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