Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize