I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
third nipple confirmed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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