I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize