She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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