Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
