U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
