I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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