Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
