So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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