I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
