Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
