i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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